Hello, I’m Katie and I’d consider myself a dating pro. I had at least 31 first dates over the past two years and combined with a load more 2nd dates, I’ve worked out that I had a date every 1.5 weeks over my time being single.
I’m lucky enough to have met an absolute gem of a human being on my 31st app date (who I’m now lucky enough to call my boyfriend) but I had to
kiss date an awful lot of frogs before I found him.
I like to also think of myself as the bestie you can come to for all sorts of dating advice… a modern day Carrie Bradshaw if you will (except less fickle, more messy and with an ever better Mr. Big).
I wanted to write up some of my top tips for first dates as I get asked this an awful lot and feel like I’ve learnt so much that my knowledge definitely needs to be passed on. As with all my advice, this is what I’ve found works well for me; everyone’s dating history and successes are different, but hopefully this will help some of those new to the dating game!
1) Avoid doing a sit down dinner on a first date. There are multiple reasons for this – firstly, I find it super awkward when I’ve only just met someone to take time to properly read a menu and then eat whilst also trying to small talk and work out common ground. I much prefer just drinks on a first date wether that be in a pub or cafe, where there is also option to grab food later if you’re both peckish (or drunk and in need of substance).
Note – I always forget to eat dinner before dates so I always end up ordering a bowl of chips for us both to share at pubs which always goes down a treat but makes it much less awkward than a full 3 course meal.
2) Always pay for yourself. As lovely as it is to get treated, that shouldn’t be the main reason we’re going on dates and we don’t want to give them the impression that’s all we’re after too. I’ve heard horror stories of girls going on first dinner dates with guys and letting them pay for it all, only for the guy to flip out after the girl says she’s not actually interested. Some people will feel like you owe them something if they buy everything on the date and that’s never a position I like to feel in, so I prefer to go dutch. Not only that, but pretty much everyone I’ve dated is always super impressed that I’m equally buying rounds (which always surprises me as I thought every one else did it equally to)?
3) Don’t kiss them on the first date unless you’re sure you like them. I’ve made this mistake before and again, people feel really led on if you have a snog and then decide you don’t like them. I know how awkward the end of first dates are, but a quick kiss on the check or a hug will suffice unless you’re sure!
4) A mistake I make A LOT on first dates is asking too many serious questions. It can either go brilliantly if your date is really open and up for answering said questions, but some will make up bullshit answers and withdraw if they think that I won’t like the truth. My reasoning for doing this is I absolutely won’t date someone who does drugs and so I like to find that out on the first date to save wasting time on that person, but sometimes it’s not the best question to ask!
5) Try not to put too much pressure or hope on this person being ‘the one’. Doing this will leave you either ridiculously nervous before and on the date so much so that you won’t feel yourself OR you’ll get disappointed time and time again as sadly not everyone will be for you. Instead just try to focus on enjoying yourself and learning something new from your date, wether it be a fun fact or a lesson on what you absolutely don’t want from a future partner.
I really hope this helps some of you who are new to the dating game and I’d also love to hear your top tips down below too!
If you have any other dating questions, leave me a comment down below or send me one anonymously to firstname.lastname@example.org as I’m going to start answering them properly in a new series here on my blog.
Love you guys lots!
Photographed by Kaye @fordtography
Disclaimer: Purchased all clothes with my own money. Affiliate links contained within post but doesn’t affect you at all!