I really enjoy dating apps – as well as being the potential meeting place for the love of my life, they’re a great way to meet so many interesting, inspiring and diverse people that I might never have crossed paths with otherwise.
I’ve been on the old apps for a year and a half now, and during that time I’ve really learnt what makes a great first impression and what makes a downright awful intro. I wanted to put together a list of my biggest turn ons and turn offs when it comes to messaging and conveniently, with a quick scroll through my Match messages it wasn’t hard to spot what had the potential for a great first message compared to the ones that left me cringing…
TURN ONS
* Making a genuine connection: If a guy has taken the time to properly read my bio and initiates conversation with a comment or question about something I mentioned, it always works like a charm for me! It gives a much better impression than a simple ‘Hey’, and is a great way to get the convo started so that it flows more naturally.
* Humour: A little bit of humour and the ability to have a laugh is particularly endearing. I have an unflattering picture of me being attacked by a gang of lambs on my profile, and any guy who picks that out and starts ‘ewes-ing’ sheep puns has immediately won me over!
* Listening: Someone who actually listens to my answers and seems genuinely interested in what I have to say. You’d really be surprised (especially on dates) how many guys will talk and talk and talk about themselves and not let you get a word in! On a recent first date, it took the guy 45 minutes to ask me what I did for a living! Big. Turn. Off.
* Politeness and honesty: Please never ask me to ‘Send nudes’ and NO unsolicited naked body parts! Please just be honest about how you feel rather than ghosting me! Treat a lady how you would like to be treated – or stop and think how you would like your sister treated!
* Grammar please! Can you not message me like you would on a Nokia 3310 back in 2002, for example, ‘how u?’, ‘wbu?’, ‘lol’, ‘lmao’. I’m looking for a man to date, not a boy who can’t write! First impressions are everything, after all!
TURN OFFS:
* Persistent, verging on aggressive messaging.
If I don’t reply to your message for a few hours, it’s because I’M OTHERWISE OCCUPIED and can’t get back to you just yet! I do not want to feel trapped at any stage of dating, and if you’re messaging me every hour chasing for a reply, it’s really very off putting! Yesterday I had a guy I hadn’t yet replied to simply send me a ‘👉poke😋’, which I guess is meant to be cute, but I find is a slightly passive-aggressive way of trying to get my attention. This leads nicely onto my second turn off…
* TOO MANY EMOJIS.
No, no, NO! They’re really not sexy or cute, and if you end every sentence with one, I’m not going to want a date with you! The odd one here and there are fine – my favs during app messaging seem to be 😏💦🙌 (for different reasons accordingly), but the ones that particularly turn me off are 😜😛😋 – they literally make me shudder and cringe!
* Overuse of my name.
“Hi Katie”, “That sounds fun Katie”, “Why’s that Katie?”, “I agree Katie”, “What you doing Katie?” Say my name too many times in messages and I’ll think you’re a serial killer… sorry!
My current app of choice is Match – they have more dates, more relationships and more marriages than any other dating site, which if you ask me, sounds idyllic! Their aim is for users to find genuine love, – so less sexting, and more engaging conversations and real-life connections with interesting people around the world! Perfect for those looking for something more long-term and not just ‘right here, right now’.
I really enjoyed writing this post so much so that I think I might start a new series! I have so much to say about turn ons and offs about the profiles and photographs people upload, as well as first date etiquette. If you’d like to read them, do let me know!
Let me know your biggest turn ons and offs in the comments too!
K x
Thank you so much Match.com for working with me on this post, literally a dream job come true!
Yesss. Def. write more about this. I’ve been wanting to download an app but I feel like people there are just looking to hook up or serial killers z I downloaded tinder and after 2 days deleted it.
I absolutely hate it when a guy answers my questions but doesn’t ask me anything in return. It makes the conversation so difficult because A) I don’t really know anything about them besides what’s in their bio and B) it makes them seem so self-centered!
Fun post! x
Michelle
dressingwithstyle-s.com
Thanks for sharing your likes and dislikes, Katie. 🙂 I can’t stand persistent, aggrressive messages either! please give me space to breathe, lol. I don’t mind emojis so much but have never liked this one: :-p. I just don’t want someone sticking their tongue out at me and it puts me off if someone uses it!
Also as Michelle said above, it’s really hard when someone doesn’t ask you anything about yourself. It makes the conversation difficult and they come across as not being interested in you. I penpal as well, so I’ve had this with both penpals and on dating/messaging sites. It’s great when I find someone who both asks and answers questons (some people ignore what I’ve asked them). And soneone who’s taken the time to read my profile and mentiond something I’ve written (as you said), instead of just saying, “Tell me about yourself”.
Zania
well …I met the love of my life on PlentyOfFish.com over 7 years ago , now we are married and we have a 2 years old little girl and trust me when I said that I had my share of meeting weirdos after weirdos , and one or 2 that were limit serial killer etc. during months of online dating but I did find the love of my life so to all girl out there , don’t lose hope just keep looking and KEEP SAFE . 🙂 xx