Before Andrew, I had never lived with a partner before and couldn’t even imagine what it would be like to share a home with a boy (other than my dad). We’ve now been living together for over a year and so I wanted to write a little about things I’ve learnt in this time! In the run up to moving in together I read SO many articles like this and truth be told, I was petrified!
1) There’s no shame!
Now, I know not every couple will be like this but in our case, it’s certainly true. We have now reached the point where we pee in the same room, occasionally share toothbrushes (if we’ve misplaced one after a weekend away) and even talk about bowel movements. Is this odd? We’re both humans after all and truth be told it feels fantastic not having to act and look perfect ALL the time. Andrew now knows that if we watch a rom-com I WILL end up crying hysterically until my face is red & puffy and he’s taken on the job of calming me down afterwards perfectly – and I think seeing each other in a vulnerable state brings you even closer together.
2) It’s okay to still want your own space.
I am one of those people who cherishes and needs time alone; it’s a fact that my overall mood is happier when I’ve had time to myself, and I’m more aggy when I spend long periods around people with no break. I adore A with all my heart but I’ve recently realised that I occasionally even need some space from him. Luckily he completely understands me (more than I do myself sometimes) and gives me that time to regenerate myself. Don’t be scared to talk to your partner about things like this – too much of one thing always turns out negatively and if they care for you they will understand!
3) It’s important to still have date nights.
I always swore before moving in with Andrew that we would still make time for weekly date nights. I think this is where a lot of couples can get bogged down and stuck in a routine so it’s really important to keep that romance alive. Whether it be a romantic meal out, to a theatre trip or a film & massage indoors, make sure you plan some ‘couples time’.
4) You’ll nag & hate yourself for it.
I’m not gonna lie – I often find myself on the brink of a housework nagging meltdown and it really does take a lot not to constantly pick at someone else’s messiness. When this happens it really helps to take a step back, breath and then calmly discuss the fact that he hasn’t done the washing up in a week (lol) rather than flip out about it. Still, there’s only so many dirty boxers lying around that a girl can take… 😉
5) You’ll find new things to love about them.
I knew Andrew was perfect way back when we first starting dating, but living together has really reinforced my love for him. Little things, from the fact he’ll run out to the shops to hunt down mini-eggs when I’m having a bad day or he’ll tidy the house when I’m out having fun with friends because he knows it’ll make me happy. You’ll find new little quirky things that makes your partner even more special and it also makes me happy that I’m one of the only people that see’s these things!
There are 5 little thoughts and tips from me, for those who are in the same situation I was a year ago. I’ve really enjoyed writing this and will probably follow on with some more ponderings soon!
Have you learnt anything after living with a partner?