Before Andrew, I had never lived with a partner before and couldn’t even imagine what it would be like to share a home with a boy (other than my dad). We’ve now been living together for over a year and so I wanted to write a little about things I’ve learnt in this time! In the run up to moving in together I read SO many articles like this and truth be told, I was petrified!
1) There’s no shame!
Now, I know not every couple will be like this but in our case, it’s certainly true. We have now reached the point where we pee in the same room, occasionally share toothbrushes (if we’ve misplaced one after a weekend away) and even talk about bowel movements. Is this odd? We’re both humans after all and truth be told it feels fantastic not having to act and look perfect ALL the time. Andrew now knows that if we watch a rom-com I WILL end up crying hysterically until my face is red & puffy and he’s taken on the job of calming me down afterwards perfectly – and I think seeing each other in a vulnerable state brings you even closer together.
2) It’s okay to still want your own space.
I am one of those people who cherishes and needs time alone; it’s a fact that my overall mood is happier when I’ve had time to myself, and I’m more aggy when I spend long periods around people with no break. I adore A with all my heart but I’ve recently realised that I occasionally even need some space from him. Luckily he completely understands me (more than I do myself sometimes) and gives me that time to regenerate myself. Don’t be scared to talk to your partner about things like this – too much of one thing always turns out negatively and if they care for you they will understand!
3) It’s important to still have date nights.
I always swore before moving in with Andrew that we would still make time for weekly date nights. I think this is where a lot of couples can get bogged down and stuck in a routine so it’s really important to keep that romance alive. Whether it be a romantic meal out, to a theatre trip or a film & massage indoors, make sure you plan some ‘couples time’.
4) You’ll nag & hate yourself for it.
I’m not gonna lie – I often find myself on the brink of a housework nagging meltdown and it really does take a lot not to constantly pick at someone else’s messiness. When this happens it really helps to take a step back, breath and then calmly discuss the fact that he hasn’t done the washing up in a week (lol) rather than flip out about it. Still, there’s only so many dirty boxers lying around that a girl can take… 😉
5) You’ll find new things to love about them.
I knew Andrew was perfect way back when we first starting dating, but living together has really reinforced my love for him. Little things, from the fact he’ll run out to the shops to hunt down mini-eggs when I’m having a bad day or he’ll tidy the house when I’m out having fun with friends because he knows it’ll make me happy. You’ll find new little quirky things that makes your partner even more special and it also makes me happy that I’m one of the only people that see’s these things!
There are 5 little thoughts and tips from me, for those who are in the same situation I was a year ago. I’ve really enjoyed writing this and will probably follow on with some more ponderings soon!
Have you learnt anything after living with a partner?
xxx
I've learnt that no matter how much they grumble, they secretly like some of our girly bathing routines, especially the skin care bits! I'm going through facial scrub like crazy right now…
The nagging thing! Totally get it…I also find that being married means I channel my mother – ALL the time! Yes and we discuss bowel movements all the time like a really old couple.
I think that the other thing I've learnt is that every day he becomes more and more a priority in my life above other people and every day I realise more and more how much better I should be as a person. Having someone that close to you (not your parents) really shines a light on your own shortcomings.
I really miss living with my boyfriend! We used to live abroad together, I got home sick and moved back to the UK. I just spent 12 days in Mallorca with him and cannot wait to live with him again. He definitely got on my nerves and your boy is not the only one to not do the washing up…. but we love them all the same.
Really enjoyed this post lovely.
Zoe Newlove Beauty Blogger & MUA
I loved this 🙂 I don't live with my partner but can definitely relate to these things after years of being together! I know when we do we'll have to make an effort to do date nights, they're so important!
Kat | www.kathorrocks.com
I've never lived with a partner but I am sure it can feel very strange in the beginning. It takes time to get used to the other person's habits even if that's someone you've known for a very long time. Nevertheless, I believe it can be magical and I'm looking forward to such a change in my life.
Ah love this! I too have been living with my boyfriend for a year, and turns out, I'm the messy one! It feels like I'm forever tidying up on my own but then I realise…I've made the mess on my own! And I hear you about being completely comfortable, I am now chill about how paper thin our bathroom walls are xxxx
I think boundaries become non existent and YES! Date nights are so important!
PRIMARK Haul June 2015 + giveaway
this is such a helpful post especially since not many people talk about subjects like this, thanks for sharing Katie <3
http://amelodyofdiaries.blogspot.co.uk/
This is the sweetest article Katie! I love all the things you say and can imagine myself being exactly the same when I come to live with my boyfriend.
The photo of you both is gorgeous too!
Rebecca xx
RebeccaClaire'sBlog
I'm in the same Uni halls as my boyfriend, and we got together at uni so we've lived together our whole relationship so far. It has been a bit weird & has been difficult at times when we've not given each other enough space, but I wouldn't have it any other way now. You get to learn so much more about the person you've given your heart to, and it's a pretty crazy but amazing thing to experience as a couple. I'm glad things have turned out well for you, hope it all continues to be great 😀 xxx
http://mynameiszoeee1.blogspot.co.uk/
I absolutely agree with every point made in this post! I've been living with my boyfriend for about 2 and a half years and honestly, you never stop learning about them. It's definitely important to keep organising date nights as well as nights out with your friends otherwise you can get stuck in a little rut.
Great post (: xx
lifeloveandlipstickblog.blogspot.com.au
This was so lovely to read, I haven't lived with a man for years so I hope when I do live with my future partner it'll be as easy and breezy as this!
Lauren x
Britton Loves | Lifestyle Food Beauty
Love this post!
I don't live with my boyfriend yet but we stay over at each others' houses often for some days at a time and you really do start to notice certain things – I definitely agree with the part about having date nights!
Enjoyed reading this! I'm the same, I need some time alone to every now and then too (:
Philippa – ByPhilippa
Living with my boyfriend is one thing I miss incredibly. It's so nice to have your best friend, who loves you unconditionally, around constantly, with all the benefits of a boyfriend! Can't wait until I get to go back to him at the end of the year.
http://simplebeautyfirst.blogspot.co.uk
These points are all so true! The making time for yourself one is very important, as is the nagging one! Great post! XO -Kim
www.thethirtysomethinglife.com
This is very true 🙂 I've been living with my boyfriend for about 7 months now and can relate to all of these x
Georgina | Rent or Chanel?
I literally LOVE this post, I'm moving in with my boyfriend in a few weeks and this is so helpful! 🙂
TINYTWISST.COM
I've just moved in with my boyfriend and get all of these, especially having no shame! I've tried to keep a shred of mystery but he literally doesn't care. I hear ya on the dirty boxers!
Simply Shell xo
awww..lovely 🙂 sounds like a keeper!
ashchroniclesletsfly.blogspot.com
What a lovely post. Me and my husband only started living together once we got married, like you I was petrified, I couldn't help but be scared he would just be too annoying to live with and then everything would fall apart! haha. But you form such a special bond living with something and I don't think there is anything better than getting to be completely yourself with another person. Your advice is good though, me-time is a must and you've reminded me that I really need to organise our next date night! x
All of what you said is so true! I've never lived with a boyfriend, but we had to house sit for someone recently and we were living together for quite a while, now that's ended, going back to my family home feels so so weird! And I miss his little habits, is that odd? Haha, I really enjoyed this post!
sophiejc.blogspot.co.uk
XO
Aww this is adorable and makes me so excited to move in with my S/O in the future!
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prettymadthings.blogspot.co.uk / / x
Three is so true! We really try to make sure that we still get our one-on-one quality time.
It's true, nagging is inevitable. 🙂 I've lived with Tom for almost two years now and he still doesn't make the bed properly. Wouldn't want to live with anyone else though. Great post!
Hair Advice & All Things Nice
Wonderful post. I read it thinking how exceptionally smart, insightful, and honest it is, and when I finished I thought, wow, I want to follow whoever wrote this on Twitter, friend them on FB, the usual social media thing! So I checked to see who the author might be and found out that we’ve already connected 🙂 Thanks.
I moved in with my boyfriend two years ago and I can relate to all these points! I think couples who aren't comfortable with talking about bowel movements are the odd ones. It's great to feel so comfortable around another person and just be yourself.
I'm moving in with my boyfriend (albeit only for three months before we start up the LDR again) soon and can't wait. The first two weeks we'll only have a single bedroom to share which I'm not thrilled with, but equally so excited to see him more than not for the first time! x
NINEGRANDSTUDENT: A Student Lifestyle Blog
I've learnt the word "compromise"! 🙂
loved this post! x
I can relate to this so much!
http://beyoutifulonabudget.blogspot.co.uk/
I have learn that there is nothing either right or wrong and no one is a boss!
I love this post! I'm quite a loner and my other half was the first bloke I lived with…it is so difficult sometimes but he is the only person I could ever tolerate living with haha!
Jess @ JuicyyyJesss