I had a lovely, lovely email from a reader of my blog recently which made my week. It was from a girl who, like me, has scoliosis (my story here) and because of this is very petite (like me), very pale (like me) has thick bushy brows (like me) and she said that reading my blog had helped her feel more confident about herself.
It got me thinking and I decided I wanted to write a post for you girls out there who feel self-conscious and down and insecure about their looks and body image at times. I’ve been thinking a lot about life in general at the moment (I’m sure my work mates are getting fed up with me pondering life’s greatest mysteries/questions at 10am multiple times a week). I think I’ve hit an age where I’m really starting to appreciate life as it is and realise that it is what you make of it.
It’s hard to get my head around, and even now my brain can’t fully understand the fact that we only live once; we only get one chance to live to the best we can. And so obviously, we also only have one body and face to do this in. I know we all have down days where we feel really crappy about the way we look, the fact our eyeliner didn’t go right, how our hair isn’t voluminous enough or how our waistband is feeling a little tighter than normal, but this is what makes us, us!
Now I personally feel I have a lot of faults, looks wise. I have massive scars all down my back from major spine surgery, I have a massive nose with wonky nostrils, I am SO short (under 5 foot) that I get mistaken for a child more often than not… but this is what makes me, me and so I’ve learnt to appreciate it and embrace these imperfections.
Think of it this way – Feeling crap about how we look will only make us feel even more unhappy about the more important things in life – if we feel insecure then we aren’t going to be the best person we can be, for want of worrying how we look all the time.
I certainly don’t want to mope around feeling sorry for myself, it’s not a nice way to live and you will certainly get stuck in a rut feeling like this and even starting to feel jealous at other people, which is not pretty. I think what I’m trying to say is you get one chance, you have been blessed with a body to live in and so appreciate it!
Learn to love yourself because others will and do, too. If you hate your nose, enhance the features that you do like, with makeup! It’s difficult being a girl because most of us do worry too much so we also need to learn to stick together rather than get jealous. Give someone a compliment tomorrow; it will probably make their day and it will also make you feel better inside.
I do like to think of myself as a bit of an agony aunt, so if there are any other things you would like advice or my thoughts on, then let me know! Send me an email or leave a comment below 🙂
What are your tips for making yourself feel better when feeling down and insecure?
Lots of love,
Katie xxxxx
When I get a compliment, I keep it in a little space in my mind and when I'm upset, I go to that place and think of all the nice things people say and it makes me smile 🙂
Having a shower, doing my make up and hair. Pamper myself even if I am not going out, it makes me feel so much better about myself. It is so easy to not like the way you look when you are sat in sweats and you have your hair scrapped back in a bun.
Simple but effective.
Lovely post. I agree that you forget/can't comprehend that you literally only live once. We really do just need to embrace everything! xxx
www.darbx.co.uk
We quickly met at the zomg bash a few years ago and I knew you were petite but when I saw you, what struck me was the energy that you oozed. 🙂 I'm also on the short side but then I tell myself: the best things come in small packages!
Such an inspirational post 🙂 thank you xxx
I like to listen to really cheesy pop songs…ones I would never in a million years admit to liking!!
Sometimes I put on an old film like the Wizard of Oz….;)
http://vodkaandarose.blogspot.co.uk
Great post. I agree with you 100% that we have to start loving ourselves for who we are. And just for the record… you are stunning and those "thick bushy brows" you have are tremendous… super jealous! 🙂
Keep making the world smile with your words.
Danielle xox
Katie, you made me feel better now. Everything you wrote is true and we really should appreciate that we can live. It doesn´t matter how we look. We have to enjoy our lives because we never know when it ends. Thank you for your words 🙂
I am also under 5 foot and spend my life getting mistaken for a child! Worse than that my feet never fully reached a size 3 (and I am a shoe girl…all those beautiful shoes that will never quite fit!) Such an encouraging post Katie, thank you for taking the time 🙂 xxx
What a beautiful and happy post! Really inspiring 🙂 x
Claire | AgentSmyth
Such a great post! I constantly feel insecure about me body, I just can't accept it how it is.
Btw, I'd love to have your eyebrows, they are so perfect 🙂 xx
This was such a lovely inspirational post Katie, thanks for writing it <3
http://sparklyghosts.blogspot.co.uk/
Such a good post! It's so easy to get caught up on the minor imperfections that we forget to focus on the things that we do like about ourselves. When I'm feeling down I put on my favourite outfit, and then make the effort to do something I enjoy (whilst avoiding mirrors for a few hours). I often find that when I come back in a happier mood I don't see the imperfections I was stressing over. Being happy increases your confidence 🙂
Helen x // Beautiful Curiosities
Love your hair & complexion – great post & much needed for us ladies x
https://lucymakesup.com
Didn't know you had scoliosis, so have I! I havn't had surgery. I'm 21 and it is just around now I'm feeling more comfortable with showing my back. You know wearing dresses with low back and such 🙂
I just like listening to music. It never fails to make me feel better.
Thank you for this post, Katie! I've been feeling down lately and this has definitely perked me up a little bit. <3
Laura x | http://pale-girl-reviews.blogspot.com
I think if we all just focus more on what we do like about ourselves rather than what we don't then that would be great. Everyone gets insecure, it's not easy being a girl- but I find just having a pamper night with some chocolate and your favourite TV show can take your mind off things when you're feeling down 🙂 Alice xx
What a beautiful eloquent post. Katie if no one has told you today, you are beautiful inside and out! God bless you! xoxo
Loved reading this post Katie.. I have experienced this at times. I am underweight and look too slim for my height! but I started loving the way how I look 🙂 This is who I am so I never feel down. It happens very rarely these days and even if it does, I do cooking (Which I love) and other stuff that makes me feel better! Confidence is the first thing we should cultivate within us to lead a happy, successful life!
Wonderful post, really, this totally made my day. You're right, thinking about the fact that everything we do, we dlo only once is pretty scary and sad and hard to comprehend all at the same time but we really need to remind ourselves that it won't come back and we need to enjoy it the best we can as well as accept and come to love ourselves.
It's kinda funny and helpful to see that everyone ponders with their looks because personally I think you're absolutely gorgeous, you really are. Every person is beautiful in their own way and own looks and reminding them of the fact, by compliments or whatever, feels so good 🙂
Thanks for that post, Katie!
xx
www.kazetime.blogspot.com
this has been really helpful to me, thankyou! great post
http://vogueofcashmere.blogspot.co.uk/ x
I think this a great post, especially for young girls in that difficult stage of life where they're extra self conscious. I've been suffering from the worst self consciousness since I was about 11 and recently I'm starting to get things done to make myself happy in my own skin. I'm excited! I never wanted my life to be restricted and it's so sad when people do let their insecurities get in the way of great opportunities, or just them having fun!
Amelia Rose | Beauty Blogger
x
This is a wonderfully written post! I loved how you pointed out that we have one life, we have to accept and love who we are! When I am feeling down or insecure I might take a little more time to get ready, not for anyone else but for me even if I am doing nothing! Putting on some makeup or my favorite outfit can make ME feel better!
I once saw you at the Lone Ranger prem and honestly I didn't even notice you were so short, just how much of a personality you seemed to have (I didn't actually speak to you ha just was queuing to get in near you, now I seem like a MASSIVE stalker ha).
Posts like this are fab, very inspiring.
Georgina at itotallypaused.com
I needed a post like this. I've been feeling down lately, and part of the reason for that is that I'm being very critical of my imperfections. I need to try and let it go.
Such an inspiring post, you must be an inspiration to lots of other girls out there too!
Love Tweet xx
Such a lovely post to read, Katie. I couldn't agree more, we only get one life and one chance to live it to its fullest. So are we going to focus on things we may not like about ourselves, or are we going to love ourselves and be happy (or at least happier)? Nobody's perfect, you know that girl, and you would die to have her looks, probably feels insecure at times too. Don't be too hard on yourself. You have one body, (learn how to) love it. xx
I think you look beautiful how you are! Great advice 🙂
http://laurenslittleblogs.blogspot.co.uk/
xx
A very open post! Mine is my skin I get eczema but I learn that it's so much more managable when I accept it and don't stress xx
Lauraslittleloves
Lovely girl 🙂 xxx
Wow, I never knew that you had a corrective scoliosis surgery, I had one too when I was about 13, though my opp seems like it was less invasive than yours I have a very big scar down my spine and it has taken a lot to get over my issues with it. Thank you for sharing 😀 xxx
Hi Katie,
This is such a fabulously inspiring and honest post. Loving ourselves and each other, living life fully, celebrating the you shaped you you happen to be and supporting others to do the same is wonderfully mind and heart expanding place to be!
The language of beauty, whether written or seen communicates so many mixed and confused messages on what it is to be beautiful. Shame weighs so heavily that the need to 'fix' things can become a cycle of self loathing and unhappiness, not only in and of ourselves but of those around us.
Thanks so much for sharing xxx
www.happyremarkableyou.com
www.oqibo.co.uk
Hi Katie,
This is such a fabulously inspiring and honest post. Loving ourselves and each other, living life fully, celebrating the you shaped you you happen to be and supporting others to do the same is wonderfully mind and heart expanding place to be!
The language of beauty, whether written or seen communicates so many mixed and confused messages on what it is to be beautiful. Shame weighs so heavily that the need to 'fix' things can become a cycle of self loathing and unhappiness, not only in and of ourselves but of those around us.
Thanks so much for sharing xxx
www.happyremarkableyou.com
www.oqibo.co.uk
This was a really sweet blog post Katie! I never would have guessed you were that little going by your photos!
I have/had the exact opposite problem of you, I'm super tall, about 178.5cm to be exact and I've always been tall since I was young. I used to be really self conscious about it, and sometimes it still bothers me because I have this idea in my head that I am a really 'big' person when I'm just tall! I used to be so envious of shorter people because you're all so sweet and dainty and gracious and while I'm a little envious still, I'm not so bothered by my height anymore.
I'm pretty self conscious when it comes to my bare face though but I'm really trying to 'love' myself as I am so I'm starting to work on that!!
This was such a lovely idea for a post Katie – I think sometimes people need a little reminder that things really aren't that bad and you do only get one go at this, so there's no point moping!