It's time for my annual end of year round up post! I always really look forward to writing these and it's also so nice to be able to look back at the previous ones (you can read 2012, 2013, 2014, 2015's posts here) to see how much things have changed!
To be honest though, I feel like I've really struggled to try and find the words to say in this particular one. I've stared blankly at the screen for hours, trying to conjure up the right way to express how I feel about the past year. Here's how I feel: I feel like 2015 should have been one of the happiest in my life but for some reason, looking back I feel sad! I feel so ashamed to admit that, but my internal struggles have really got to me this year. I went through periods of feeling very, very low; I felt bad about my body & the way I looked, I lost self confidence when it came to my work, I constantly compared myself to others and I've had a lot of health issues arise (for both myself and my loved ones).
So when I look back on the year all I see is the negative, but in actual fact, 2015 was pretty good. Some pretty big changes in my life happened and I just need to remind myself of those and not get so caught up in the negative!
Before we get to the highlights I'll quickly go over my NYR for 2016.
New Year's Resolutions:
1) Be kinder to myself.
This probably sounds ridiculous, but I need to STOP comparing myself to others and give myself more slack. I need to treat myself better and I need to do things for myself. I need to concentrate more on my positives and therefore become more confident in myself which will in turn make me a happier person. I hope this makes sense.
2) Grow my online presence.
I am now a full time blogger/YouTuber and I can't express how happy I am about this - I couldn't be more grateful for this opportunity and so I really want to do well and succeed in it. A big number of my personal goals for the year involve my work and I really want to expand my readership and general 'numbers' across the board. I have ideas of how to do this - a lot of them involve being more confident so I need to work on number 1 of my resolutions to do this!
3) Nail circus arts.
One of my greatest achievements of 2015 was enrolling and completing my first term at circus school where I specialised in aerial arts. I initially thought I wanted to become skilled in aerial silks but I found that I really, really enjoy static trapeze so I've decided to focus on this in 2016 and I am so eager to nail this skill! I will document this in vlogs on my YouTube channel so if you're interested you can subscribe to see some clips of me in the air!
4) Improve general wellbeing.
I have never in my life had 'loose weight/get fit/work out daily' as a NYR as I think it puts too much pressure on the challenge and also seems like one that everyone gives up on after 4 days. With our wedding now approaching I do want to feel better within myself and so I am vowing to improve my general sense of wellbeing - mind, body and soul. I want to explore yoga more and incorporate into weekly life, I want to become more thoughtful and kind and I want to nourish my body with good food, but not deny myself any treats. This is going to be tough but I'm so eager that I'll work hard! I think this will make me a better human being.
Highlights of 2015
One of the biggest highlights was obviously getting engaged to my best friend. I'd been dreaming about this for so long and I can not wait to be able to call him my husband. The way he proposed was perfect (you can see it here) and whenever I think about this day I'm overcome with happiness.
In July I left my full time job (which I loved and adored) and became a full time content creator. This was something I wanted to do for so long and it honestly feels like I'm living a dream. There are obviously ups and downs but I am so proud of myself for being able to do this. Being signed by Gleam Futures was also a massive highlight - I couldn't do it without them.
Another highlight was getting the all clear for cervical cancer. I had a colposcopy, two biopsies and a LLETZ treatment done in 2015 (all of which were horrible procedures, one of which led me to actually fainting for the first time in my life!) and the results came back in October that I had the all clear. I can't express how much of a relief this is and I really want to stress to all girls to book your smear test - it's so important and easy to treat if abnormalities are caught early!
- Spending time with my family. I don't know what I'd do without my parents and sister, they've always been so supportive of me and I can't express my love for them enough.
- Going to the pub & getting wasted with one of my favourite musicians - Josef Salvat!
- Tanya and Jim's wedding was so, so beautiful, I'll never forget it!
- Filming lots of great videos for YouTubers. I've made some really great friends through this little venture and I love being creative with other likeminded people!
- Meeting so many readers of my blog in public - you wouldn't believe how happy this makes me!
Finally, I want to say a big, big thank you to you! My blog is coming into it's 6th year this month (mental). My life has changed dramatically due to this blog, and I'm very lucky to have had the opportunities and experiences that it's bought me and this is in no small part thanks to you guys for reading my blog and supporting me. I really can't thank you enough. I hope I can continue to create content which you enjoy and I really hope you have a fabulous 2016!
What are your New Year's Resolutions?